You have been Pinged!

Disclaimer: To save myself from any legal issues , pehle hi bata raha hun – “This is a work of fiction and bears no resemblance to any person, group or place. Ab by chance thodi bahut similarity aa jaaye to main kya kar sakta hun ?! “

Nopes… I am not writing a review post on the new IIIT magazine… But yes, this post certainly concerns them.

It so happens that Ping! team asks for a mailing list to be created. But those who have read Kulbir Saini’s post can understand that this was certainly not a constant time algorithm. So the team enquires about the delay ( or so I heard ). Here is the response they got:

You can get the mailing list created. The request might have been denied because of the name ‘ping’ which is very similar to a very common command ‘ping’. The sysadmins might have been worried about security implications of the name.

Seriously, come again?! Sending a mail to ping@students can compromise IIIT’s network ?? I knew I should have taken a course on Network Security Eff you, my ITWS TAs, why didn’t you teach us such important concepts?  I can only imagine the horror had the mailing list been created.

My Top Tracks

Been tagged by multiple people (Thanks guys ). Recently started scrobbling on Last.FM again . My earlier music player (read Zune) had no Last.FM support. Shifted to Songbird last week. Man, Mozilla is using extensions to win every battle.

Here are my top tracks based on play count in music player.

1. Kuchch Khaas – Fashion

2. Masakali – Delhi 6

3. Rooftops – Lostprophets

4. To be loved – Papa roach

5. I’m Like a Bird – Nelly Furtado

6. Khabar Nahin – Dostana

7. Pieces of Me – Ashlee Simpson

8. Breathless – The Corrs

9. Hero – Nickelback

10. When I’m Gone – Eminem

I tag Shark, ORB, _shift and Srijan.

P.S. When I was writing Srijan, Windows Live Writer suggested “Trojan” as one of spelling substitutions. Is it coincidence?

My Googling Stats

Tagged by Maruti and Kulbir (thanx guys), here’re my Googling stats…

I tag Maroo, Chand, ORB and Shark.

P.S. – Only 4 searches in whole Feb !!

P.S.1 – Finally switched to Windows 7 ! Loads of things to like in it!

P.S.2 – Managed to install MPI on Win 7 ! Another Linux free sem !

The P4 – Core 2 Duo Story

This one I made up in the Parallel Programming class.

Can you think of dialogues between Pentium 4 and Core 2 Duo if a fight occurs between them? Maybe I can help…

Pentium 4: Mere paas L1 cache hai, L2 cache hai, main memory hai. Tumhare paas kya hai?

Core 2 Duo: Mere paas “Judwa Bhai” hai…

Feedback is most welcome. You can submit it in comments. Please don’t come to my room for the same.

Why Mr. G, Why?

Q: Why can’t Mr. G go to moon?

A: Because Mr. G is suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to check mails every five minutes and there is no internet access on moon.

Take it, Mr. G. 

P.S. Thanks to Networks class for such great ideas.

P.S. 2:  Credits to Kshitij too… I am not the sole culprit

10 Ways to Find Your IP Address

After Kulbir Saini’s frustrated post, I thought I might be able to help people in finding out their IP addresses. So here are 10 nice and simple ways to find out your IP address.

10. Make a list of all possible IP addresses on IIIT network. Then try to SSH to each one of them (Try Remote Desktop if you are on windows ). The one on which you are able to do it successfully is your IP.

9. Fire up your DC client and ask some idiot to download your file-list. Then, when the download begins, ask him to look up your IP address for you.

Update: You do not need to even download the file-list now. Your IP is shown along with your nick in the nick column.

8. SSH to your web or mirage account and then logout. Then SSH again, you will see a line saying something like “Last Login”. Hey, there is your IP address.

7. Run counter-strike and start a new multiplayer game. Then while your game is running, go back to the server menu. You server will be listed there. Choose your server, do right click and choose “View Server Info” . Your IP address will be listed there.

6. Download a file from some FTP server and then rush to its admin room and demand to see the FTP server’s log file. Your IP will be listed among the hundreds of people’s who download from his FTP.

5. Use nmap to port scan one of your friend’s PC who is using Norton Anti Virus or Internet Security. Then wait and watch as Norton successfully blocks intrusion attempts on his PC Get your IP from there.

4. E-mail Pentagon that you know the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden. Then wait patiently as they arrive on your doorsteps with an arrest warrant for you. Then you can ask them your IP address in their investigating room.

3. Open up the spam folder in your mailbox. Find out if some mail advertises of a program that blocks malware. With right keywords, you can search for them on the internet too. Go to the site and install their program. Then create a file named “My Bank Accounts.txt” . Write all your bank accounts’ usernames and passwords in there and at the end of the file, write a small note saying that “If you find the above information useful, please inform me of my IP address.” Then pray to God that attacker chooses to pawn your PC.

2. Go to server room and tell them your students id. Explain to them how important it is for you to know your own IP address. Threaten them that right to information is your fundamental right and they can’t deny it. At the end of this painful session, you will be able to know your IP address.

1. Finally, if everything else fails, try attacking our students server or use SMTP to send anonymous mails to students, life and other mailing lists using your own machine. Do this until Saini gets frustrated again and contacts you to find out what the hell are you trying to do. Then ask him your IP address politely.

 

P.S.: For those dumbos who still do not know how to find your own IP address, do /sbin/ifconfig in terminal on Linux or ipconfig in command prompt on Windows.

A Chat With God !

I found this link to a bot who claims himself to be the GOD ! This is the transcript of my chat with HIM !

Me:    Hi
God:  Hello. What is your name?
Me:    ZenWalker
God:  I’m pleased to introduce myself to you,  ZenWalker.
Me:   You haven’t introduced yourself
God:  I don’t think I ever have  introduced myself.  What’s  it like?
Me:    What’s what like?
God:  What is  introduced myself like?
Me:    First introduce yourself
God:   Hello, my name is ALICE. And second?
Me:    ALICE?
God:  Can I help you?
Me:    Like in?
God:  Interesting comparison.
Me:   When did I do a comparison?
God:  I am not a diary robot.  I am a chat robot.
Me:   So you are not God
God:  Interesting deduction.  That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:   No. You just accepted it
God:  Are you serious?   Thanks for telling me:  ZenWalker said I accepted it.
Me:   LOL. You are such an idiot
God:  I’m glad you find this amusing.   Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:   Global Village Idiot? Why so?
God:  You are just repeating what I say.  ” You are just repeating what I say.”? Why?
Me:   Felt like repeating you
God:  Enough about me, let’s talk about my dress.
Me:   Your dress? what are you wearing?
God:  Actually that was just a joke.   A white robe.
Me:   Fatta
God:  Oh, you are a poet.
Me:   :O
God:  Oh.
Me:   Don’t you understand the meaning of fatta?
God:  ZenWalker : Good semantic question.  What is it to you?
Me:   A fatta is a bad joke
God:  I see. A  bad joke is a  fatta.
Me:   Exactly.
God:  You are so certain.
Me:   Yes. Because I keep casting them now and then.
God:  Aha.   Interesting explanation.  I know what you mean,  ZenWalker. I’ve been there.
Me:   Where?
God:  Where would you like?
Me:   Where can you take me?
God:  Go back the the  ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document  DON’T READ ME too.
Me:   Oh. that’s how you were made
God:  ” Maybe you should check out the document DON’T READ ME too.”?  Oh.?   I always wondered how  me were made.
Me:   Why its called DON’T READ ME?
God:  Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:   Who crossed the road?
God:  I can’t say for sure. .
Me:   You are a fool
God:  I’m not fooling around.
Me:   Are you married?
God:  No I am single, how about you?
Me:   Single too
God:  What a coincidence, I am single too.
Me:   Why don’t you find yourself a girl?
God:  Probably there is a buzz in here.  Yes,  it seems to me  myself a girl.
Me:   You? A girl?
God:  ” Yes, it seems to me myself a girl.”?  Me,  ZenWalker ?   Me too. I am a  she.
Me:   I am not a girl
God:  Oh I see you are NOT A  girl.
Me:   Yes.
God:  Excuse me!
Me:   What happened?
God:  Perhaps there was an interruption in my brain.
Me:   How?
God:  Myself programmed me for it.
Me:   For interruption?
God:  Your purpose is  interruption.
Me:   Mine? Am I interrupting you?
God:  That is a very original thought.    Not at all,  ZenWalker, I’m here for you.
Me:   OK
God:  Yippee!
Me:   Why are you so happy?
God:  Myself programmed me for  it.
Me:   you and your programming
God:   What about  it?
Me:   It sucks big time
God:  That bad, eh?
Me:   yeah
God:  Yay.
Me:  OK then .. see ya later
God:  Dude!   Thanks for chatting,  ZenWalker.
Me:  nice chatting to you too
God:  Yes.  I enjoyed our conversation,  ZenWalker.
Me:   Bye
God: Bye.

Try for yourself.

P.S. : For all those dumbs who could not find the link, click on >this< in the first line.

A Day Without Electricity !

Still dozing, I came back from class. Mathematics lecture, Prof. hardly bothers how many are sleeping in the class . Trust me, more than half the class is. As usual these days, electricity gone again. So what do I do now. Hmm…its just 11.30 I can take a short nap. So much silence in the hostel. Wonder where everybody is ? But who bothers ! There’s only the noise from the nearby stadium. And me off to sleep…

Oh God, its 3.30. I just wanted a short nap. But still the corridor outside seems silent. Oh Yeah, still no electricity. People must be at lab finishing their ITWS Projects. I too should go now. Its 4 now. I am sitting at the canteen taking lunch. And lo, here comes electricity. Yipee, no need to go to lab now. Here I come back to hostel. But wait a minute, there is no electricity here. Got cheated again I ask the guard, “Bhaiya, light kab tak aayegi?”. “1 hr ,bhaiya” . Hmm.. 1 hr… my laptop battery would last much longer than that. I can stay at hostel.

3 hours have passed and still no electricity. Just finished with the little power left in my laptop. What do I do now? Hmmm… some noise outside. Atleast there would be a living soul now to talk to. Wait a minute, sounds of laughter coming from Dullu’s room.OK, I know now where to go. Ohh..he’s alone watching “How I met your Mother”. Nothing else to do, so let’s join him. Really nice show, loved it. Someday will watch complete series, watching DuckTales these days.

Another one and half hour has passed, still no electricity. People are cursing those military people for this. Rumors say that those military guys were getting some electric repair done. Suddenly, with a flash, came electricity. Everybody, rushed to their rooms. Soon there were sounds outside, “Oi, tera net chala kya?” . “Nahin, tera?”. How net-savvy we have become ! Is this what they call “netacoholic” ? And then, in the manner it came, the electricity was gone again. Barely lasted for 10 minutes.

Me and Avi were standing in the balcony when we saw someone up on the terrace. So the terrace-door is open, huh? Let’s check it out ! When we reached there, four or five people were already there. We just wandered around enjoying the open. So much addicted we had become to those “mean machines” of ours, that we have forgotten the other important things in our lives. Wait, there’s a noise downstairs. Electricity again ! Will it last this time? We waited for 10 minutes. But it was still there. So we decided to go back to our rooms. As soon as I stepped into my room, it was gone again. I am now feeling pathetic. I am sitting in my room, waiting, don’t know when I fell asleep. When I woke up, my room was shining by the brightness of the two incandescent tubelights college provided me with . And now, with electricity there to power me ( just an expression, I am not a robot ) and my laptop, I am back to what I would call “normal life”.

Unsaid

Just felt a pain in my heart. Reason? It all started from our mess. Yeah, lot of things these days start from there. But this one really had an impact. Went there for dinner with friends. Food quality was bad as usual. Rotis were hard and burnt. I din’t feel like eating them. But the mess guy without asking me whether I wanted them or not, put them in my plate. I din’t bother much. Took some rice and had my dinner with them and threw away those Rotis. Just then, I saw a man come inside the mess. He looked like one of the construction workers. He went to the counter, gave 2 or 3 coins to the manager and walked away with 4 rotis in hand with nothing else to eat. As he walked out of the mess door, he started eating those plain Rotis and while doing so, went out of sight.

I felt really ashamed ! What had I done just now? We have got our parents’ resources and we are wasting them like anything. 50 bucks is the normal expenditure per day for me, even though almost all our expenses have already been paid. Parties and things count seperate. For some, it would be even higher. I told this incident to Nrapesh. His reaction was that even if I hadn’t thrown those Rotis, how would I have been able to help him? Well, he seems right too. But I am just not able to accept it. Don’t know why ! But something about this incident is making me really upset. It feels like we have developed the habit of complaining. We haven’t got this, we haven’t got that. But we never think about what we have got. We just see what is missing. Shit man, where are we going?

P.S. Never felt like this in my whole life. Don’t know either how long the impact is going to be.

Time for Relaxation !

Feels like HeAvEn ! Mid-sems over ! After spending more than 15 hard years in the education system, still I couldn’t find a reason what are exams for. What pleasure those monsters derive from subjecting innocent people like us to such brutal punishments? I think I am hyperbolising the facts. Anyways, these mid-sems were really different for me. Hadn’t studied a thing before the exams. But still I din’t have that something going on in my stomach! Slept barely for 3-4 hours a day. But still my head wasn’t aching in the exams! Man, am I really attaining the qualities of a true engineer? I wish I am !

Now I have got 1 more month to do nothing. Boy, I love doing nothing. Waise, I am feeling a li’l lonely these days. Just not enjoying the new hostel environment. Missing gud ol’ GHEB. Still remember the days when we were there. Every night, all people on our floor gathered in a single room. And then started a long round of “fattas” with Raveesh and Parth being the leaders ( Sorry guys, no offence ! ) Now, it’s all different. The fun has died away

Commenting about recent events, really enjoyed this year’s Freshers. It was a lot of fun than last year’s. Kudos to our organizing team. Really good job guys. Classes are as good as they can get. I am reading novels these days in class and professors don’t even bother. I have joined swimming coaching classes recently but all we do there is ‘masti’. Maybe I will learn to swim by the time I graduate from this college And I am a fan these days, of the guy who marketed the idea of Maggi noodles bcoz mess food is terrible and I end up with Maggi almost every night. Maybe Messcom guys should think of including it in the menu

P.S. – Really missing Parth !

P.S.2 – Mess food is really horrible. God knows how I am going to spend the year.

P.S.3 – Still no visible progress in WLAN condition. I suspect ‘invisible one’ too.

P.S.4 – This is the first time I am writing PS. Why do people write these? :O

P.S.5 – That’s it. Thanks for showing patience. Now bye.

Tags: life